Parent separation can be difficult for all those involved, especially the child. How can the setting support both the child and their family through this transition?
The separation of a child’s parents can be difficult for children in Early Years and it is important that practitioners support the child and the family through this. Separation can have a big impact on a child’s development and leave many children unsettled and confused; however break-ups affect every child differently, and there is no set way to deal with it. Some parents may separate amicably and agree on joint custody of the child; this can help to ease the upset caused and allow both parents equal access in their child’s life. Practitioners can support the child through remaining constant in their lives and keep a good solid routine at the nursery. Many parents will share the news with practitioners, outlining any changes to the child’s routine at home. This can enable the setting to fully support the child through the transition and the ability to answer any questions or worries the child may have.
Absent parents
Some parents do not have an amicable break up, and this can heavily impact on the relationship that a child has with their parents. Occasionally the separation will cause one parent to be absent from the child’s life, causing a huge change in their home life. Children will react differently in this situation; some may be quiet or clingy, while others may display anger through difficult behaviour. It is important for practitioners to keep in regular contact with parents to work together in supporting the child. Reading stories about single parent families or using puppets to talk about feelings can help aid a child’s understanding and effectively manage their feeling and behaviour. It is vital that practitioners encourage the child to talk openly about their feelings and understand that they are not wrong for feeling a certain way. The child may disclose details of the separation to a practitioner; these should be treated in a sensitive and confidential way.
Supporting the child’s welfare
Parental separation can be difficult for all those involved, with some parents stopping the other parent from seeing the child for a variety of reasons. This can be a sensitive issue to deal with for both the child and the setting. Safeguarding policies are in place to support and protect a child at all times, outlining the course of action to take if a child’s safety or welfare is threatened. However, it is important that the practitioner is aware of the whole situation and does not only listen to one side of the story. Practitioners should remain vigilant and continue to safeguard the child to the highest standard. In a situation where both parents are involved with the child, it is a good idea to share information with both parties where possible. Accident and external injury forms can cause problems if parents are separated and the child is spending time at two homes due to lack of communication. The practitioner can ease this conflict by ensuring both parents are made aware of any accidents that occur in the setting. Also, any accidents that happen at home should be recorded by the parent who was taking care of the child at the time to ease confusion over details.
Parental Responsibility
If a parent informs the setting that the child’s other parent is no longer allowed to see the child, the practitioner should ask if the other parent has parental responsibility of the child. Mothers automatically have parental responsibility of the child from birth; however fathers gain parental responsibility through being married to the child’s mother or being named on the birth certificate. Early years settings are not able to stop those with parental responsibility from collecting their child. Parents can aid this through presenting the setting with a court order against the other parent. This enables settings to enforce the order and refuse collection for the other parent for the reasons stated in the order. Some parents may find this difficult to accept and get upset or angry with the setting. Practitioners should remain calm but firm, explaining to the parents that the child’s best interests are paramount.
Ensuring an open and solid relationship with both parents is fundamental in supporting the family and the child through this difficult transition.