Question
Q – “Has anyone ever experienced managers making snide comments to you, putting you down or making you feel silly in front of other members of staff. I can deal with banter but sometimes it gets too much and it feels unfair. What would other people do?”
Answers –
A – “If you feel incredibly strongly there is always a grievance policy in place that you can source and use should you need to.”
A – “I had a manager who was like that I watched her bully other members of staff and I along with others let it happen. When it happened to me though I stood up for myself and then I was accused of being rude and confrontational….neither of which I am. The whole thing involved other issues but I ended up making a formal complaint to the head of committee. I left my job because of the managers behaviour and ended up taking the nursery to a tribunal which I won. Like I said it involved other matters but also the managers conduct in the matter, I stood up for myself and am proud of that”
A – “I struggle with the thought of people talking behind my back. I constantly get anxious and nervous about it and often get upset to the point I cry about it. My manager knows about this and I talk to her about problems I may have, wether that regards her or others behaviour. Previous employers have been less than helpful and every time I chose to leave to save my own sanity. If the problem is getting to you, talk to your manager or even the owner about your problems. Sometimes people aren’t aware of issues. If the situation doesn’t improve think about looking for another job. There is always somewhere bigger and better”
A – “Firstly I would say this is extremely unprofessional! Secondly I would address it in your supervisions or your appraisals. They are a great opportunity to be honest and tell them your concerns.Maybe they don’t realise the impact it’s having on you. If still no joy I would personally take it to higher management in the company I.e directors etc…”
A – “We had one manager who luckily didn’t last long, she was that bad we nicknamed her psycho (oops) I hate confrontation so I just bury things, but one day she pushed me too far and I snapped and just went berserk! Although I’m not proud of what I done and I definitely do not suggest or condone it but it certainly made people higher up wake up and pay attention!”
A – “Most settings have a whistle blowing policy and I would bring it up with the owner or whoever is higher up, at the end of the day you’re a professional and deserve to be treated as such. If another member of staff treated you like that you’d raise it with management so why not raise this issue? They might be a manager but at the end of the day that means they should be well aware of staff moral and the impact it will have if it is lowered”
A – “I would confront them straight away, go to them at the first private opportunity & say something like “do you think I need to work on xyz? How do you think I could do that?” Should a) take the wind out of their sails and b) remind them that you’re both professionals and should act as such”
A – “The manager should not be doing that, it’s extremely unprofessional!
Could you go higher up? It’s maybe worth confronting the manager but have someone with you if you trust someone else, just as a witness. Maybe the manager doesn’t realise what they are saying and how it’s upsetting you.”
A – “If u feel u can challenge them about their behaviour telling them how it makes u feel. Or if u feel u can’t do this speak to someone above them or in the h r department. Good luck”
A – “This is just not acceptable, if it’s making you feel uncomfortable then it is not banter. I would speak to your manager and explain how it makes you feel and take it higher if things don’t change. Make a record of everything. I hope things get better for you”
A – “keep a note of times and whats said but i wouldnt be able to resist in sniding back ask for a copy of the grievance procedure and see what comes of it also is the manager the owner”
A – “Talk to your manager maybe she doesn’t realise she’s doing it”
A – “If it’s really getting to you have you considered speaking to your LADO?”
A – “Sounds like my old nursery which I have now made a formal complaint and an ofsted complaint”
A – “I would call it Bullying in the work place. Report it immediately”
A – “I had a headteacher /employer like that. She’s still making everyone’s life a living hell.”
A – “You need to bring it up at your next supervision. Request an earlier one if you have to. There should be an opportunity to feedback how you are feeling at your supervision. Explain how you feel and see how they respond. Depending on the circumstances it could be seen as workplace bullying. Ensure your feelings and their response gets recorded fully.”
A – “I had a conversation during my supervision and told my manager if the comments made about me didn’t stop then I would be leaving as it was really upsetting me but didn’t wanna walk straight out. (New manager to the setting. Wanted to give it a chance) and she turned round and said “don’t threaten me, I don’t like being threatened” then the following day I walked into a room to hear her telling the apprentice that she doesnt like people threatening her and instead of threatening to leave, maybe people just should. We’ve already lost 4 members of staff in the 2 months shes been there and I feel a lot more are on their way too”
A – “This may help? http://www.earlyyearscareers.com/…/bullying-in-the…/ “
A – “I would speak to your LADO. For a manger to make you feel this way is unacceptable. She should be more constructive in her Criticisms and supportive.”
A – “Log it all down and ask for a meeting to discuss it. Take a representative from the PLA or your local Early Years Department, if they provide this, or like said before the LADO. Have witness statements from other staff to support you. Make your points calmly and professionally and then you know you’ve done everything you can. If your still not happy or supported hand your notice in after doing everything you can. Hold your head up and be confident.”
A – “Get yourself into a union Asap. Log and record everything. Work place bullying is very REAL! If you cannot speak to her directly then put everything in writing. Find out your settings policy in grievance. There is always SOMEONE who will be able to help you, you just need to figure out where to turn next. Ask your tutor they will be able to give you advice on who to contact. You do not need to be subjected to any of this you SHOULD BE WORKING IN A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT!”
A – “I think this is so common in childcare, I think some people become managers through default and don’t have the experience to manage staff and therefore take it out on staff as they feel insecure. My former boss had ‘favourites’ and it was a standing joke until I became one of the out of favour members of staff. She called me into her office and told me I was becoming ‘over confident’ (no evidence to back it up), I was so shocked that I cried then she said ‘maybe you should take some of my pills’. It spiralled downwards from that point, to the point where they changed procedures to prevent me having a day off (despite the fact that I’d always bent over backwards to fill in, taking on extra hours if needed). I was constantly walking on eggshells. I left eventually but I was the first of about 7 to say enough is enough and go. Wish we’d all got together and complained but it was a little local playgroup, don’t think we’d have got very far.”
A – “2 bits of advice. 1. Keep a diary, log everything. 2. Join a union asap. Been in s similar situation myself”
A – “If your on a training course, you can speak to your assessor/trainer for support and guidance. I would look at following the grievance procedure and report to LADO/ART if nothing is being done. Bullying is not acceptable, hope you get some help.”