Top tips in helping toddler bond with a new baby
A new baby in the family can be a big life change for toddlers to cope with. Young children are very egocentric and until a sibling is introduced can be centre of their parents world. Once a baby joins the family the child will need to learn patience and to share attention, which can have many difficulties for a toddler. In order to best prepare the child for a new arrival it is important to lay foundations to support the big brother or sister for the big changes that will happen.
Here are some useful tips to help young children bond with their new sibling.
Using books
Books are a fantastic way to prepare a child for a new sibling. They can offer children an insight to what will happen once the baby is here and allows the empathise with the characters in the story. Children can talk about the different elements of gaining a new sibling through the story and relate these to their own experience.
Tummy talk
Children can begin to bond with their sibling through talking to them whilst they are in mummy’s tummy. Explain to the child that their baby brother or sister can already hear them, even from inside the tummy. Encourage the child to sing songs or tell stories to the baby through mummy’s tummy, providing the opportunity for interaction and involvement.
Baby photos
Looking through old baby photos of the child can support their understanding of life cycles and how the baby will grow up to be like them. Sharing scan photos with the child also allows them to see how the baby is already growing and compare these to their own baby photos. Talk about what the baby may look like, will the baby be a boy or a girl? will they have brown hair like you? Asking these questions gives the child the opportunity to think about what may happen in the future.
Once the baby is born every child will react differently. Some children will be very loving and interested in the new baby, while others may ignore the baby or become very clingy to one parent. It is completely normal for the child to go through a range of emotions, however there are some ways to support the child through this process.
Newborn gifts
It is common for family and friends to shower the baby with lots of gifts, yet this can leave the older sibling feeling very much forgotten about. Putting gifts away to open once the child is asleep can take away this feeling of being left out. Also it is a lovely idea to have a gift for the child from the baby, this can help strengthen the bond and make the child feel appreciated.
Helper jobs
Encouraging the child to help out with the baby is a great way of promoting independence and responsibility. The child can carry out simple tasks such as fetching baby wipes from a changing bag or choosing the baby’s clothes for the day. This will support the child’s self esteem and help them to feel part of the daily routine.
Quality toddler time
Once the baby arrives it can be difficult to divide your time ensuring some quality 1:1 time with your toddler. It is important to find time each day to spend some time with your toddler, doing something together without the baby. A good time to do this is when baby is napping, ensuring the time spent together is uninterrupted. This will help the child to feel appreciated and discourage them from resenting the baby.